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Advanced Matchmaking Practices

As technology flourishes, we continue to be introduced to new ways of finding new partners. Currently people are dabbling with video, virtual world activities, and the old fashioned hunt and peck through photos and profiles on the typical dating website. There are a host of websites that claim they have a very scientific approach to finding you a match, but do they really? According to most researchers who live and breathe the science of recognition matching, that answer is no.

There are four highly accurate methods of deciphering ones personality tendencies, and there is not one single dating website in the world that uses these to their favor. What would make this sort of matching ideal? The typical dating website questionnaire relies heavily on a person to be honest with themselves to get an accurate reading. Most people have an image of who they are, which is usually quite skewed from reality.

According to the Scientific American, more than 90 percent of all dating profiles contain lies. If you combine this reality with the ‘scientific-based’ matching systems available today, the end result is a group of choices which are no better than if a person were to sort through profiles on their own, using nothing but photos and hobbies. But it shouldn’t have to be this way. Not when there are four very reliable means of identifying a good match, which includes handwriting recognition, facial similarity, pheromone compatibility, and Personality profiling. Lets look at each of these in detail.

Handwriting Recognition (match component based on similarity of handwriting)

Long have we wondered if our personality was actually written into our handwriting, and according to graphologists (those who study this) there does indeed appear to be something to it. Handwriting is such a distinct trait, it is as individual as our own fingerprints. Beyond this, is a sort of script of certain writing tendencies, that seem to follow certain individuals.

For instance, those whose use relatively close together letters in a sentence, are said to be people-person’s who crave socializing and the limelight. A larger gap denotes a person who prefers minimal company. Peoples whose sentences ascend upwards (on paper without lines) have a more positive outlook on life, than those whose sentences slope downward. Wavering lines, represent someone who is possibly emotionally unstable.

The direction that your individual letters slant, also denotes certain personality types. Letters that slant to the left, represent people who are withdrawn and have difficulties expressing themselves. Letters that slant to the right, represent a caring and empathetic person. A signature can say a lot about a person too, such as the more illegible it is, the more insecure they are in public situations. This can be seen in the gradual change in president Richard Nixon’s handwriting over the course of his career in politics.

We could go on and on, and as interesting as this research is, many psychologists believe handwriting represents a reasonably accurate way of picking out certain traits. All that is needed to incorporate this advanced practice in matchmaking, is one paragraph of written text. This text would then be analyzed and narrowed down into subcategories, focusing on matching members using complimenting personalities, social needs, and means of expressing themselves.

Facial Similarity Recognition (similar facial features)

While facial attraction is perceived as something you either have or don’t have, research from Durham University has shown that we also make certain perceptions based on facial features. For instance, masculine men featuring an overly square jawline, large nose, and small eyes, are more likely to be perceived as unfaithful, than men with feminine characteristics. Research from the University of St. Andrews have taken this research further, stating women also prefer men who resemble their own facial features. Consider the Hollywood couples, Pete Wentz/Ashlee Simpson and Tome Cruise/Katie Holmes, as examples of this.

The idea behind this theory is that women cancel out any mistrust they normally associate with masculine characteristics, by the familiarity of their own femininity. Studies at St. Andrews show that women prefer men with similar characteristics almost across the board. An anthropologist from the Institute of Anthropology in Poland has concluded that women also appear to prefer men with similar characteristics as their father’s, which could be construed as correlating with both the theory of familiarity and like facial features.

How do these studies fit with helping online daters find a better match? Facial recognition programs are gaining in both popularity and technological advancement. In fact, today you can scan in a facial image, send it into a massive ancestral database of photos, and find your long lost relatives. This same technology could be used to pair match members of dating websites, identifying similar facial features, and rating them by a percentage of how much they either compliment or mismatch each other.

This would help members narrow down their choices, offering an organized list of people they will most likely find attractive, based on the laws of like-attraction.

VNO Pheromone Compatibility Indexing and Recognition/Matching

Pheromones control our behavior, regulate menstrual cycles, and are also responsible for attraction and sexual response. While you may think your pheromones (and DNA) are for the most part walled within your own personal space, In truth, these chemicals communicate with others around you every day through the air (breathing) and saliva (kissing).

Research has shown that women who are enclosed in tight living quarters (college dormitories/sororities) often menstruate at the same time. This is no coincidence, however, as most scientists believe this is caused by the individual pheromones of these girls mixing with each other, interacting, and then uniting them with a hodgepodge of hormonal instructions.

In addition to these findings, some research suggests that our bodies are genetically coded to search for like matches who are not only compatible personality wise, but also genetically. Proper genetic coding ensures offspring will be strong and hardy, and researchers believe the pituitary gland is responsible for the release of the hormones which dictate who we will and won’t like. Interestingly, kissing studies reveal the reason a “first kiss” is such a make or break moment, is the brain tests the genetic makeup of each person through their saliva, deciding if the person is a good match or not.

What makes a good match? Well, for starters, having differing immune system genes is desirable, considering it will offer offspring and your individual health the most protection from disease. The suggested means of using this matchmaking technology for dating websites, is to either send a t-shirt or article of clothing containing pheromones (sweat, skin dander, etc), or a DNA sample from a cotton swab rubbed on the inside of the mouth. Matches would then be narrowed down from a larger pool, giving members the confidence that at least the first kiss should initiate the sparks of romance.

16PF5 or Similar IPIP-NEO Tests for Personality Profiling

At last we come to one of the most commonly used means of finding a match, the personality test. Considering the time and cost required to do a thorough personality profile, the majority of these websites rely on “self referential” tests, which means we’re given the responsibility to describe what kind of person we are. Unfortunately, these types of tests are not very accurate (approximately 10 percent), as they require an individual to be absolutely honest with themselves, and we are one of our own worst enemies when it comes to lying.

To get around this, tests such as the 16PF5, are designed to get to an individuals personality type, by choosing the preferred action from a variety of scenarios. For instance, instead of asking if you enjoy socializing (a trait that many daters see as a positive), the 16PF5 will approach this personality trait by offering various outcomes to social situations, asking which is most preferable. In other words, it disguises the traits, so that the answers will be less persuaded by what you think you should answer.

The IPIP-NEO tests are also quite thorough, producing matches as minimal as three per 100,000. This is in comparison to the typical DISC and MBTI test (self-referential) which offers over 400 matches per 100,000. According to most psychological reports, the validity (predictability) of these tests, ranges from 0.85 to 0.95, which is why many companies require workers to take these tests before they are hired. Here are two examples of the types of questions you might run across on a 16PF5 test:

1. When I have to catch a plane, I feel hurried or anxious even though I have enough time.

a. True

b. ?

c. False

2. If I had my life to live over again, I would:

a. Plan it differently

b. ?

c. Live it as I have

The way these tests could be beneficial to dating websites, is to take the place of the standard DISC/MBTI “self-reference” tests. These could be taken in the privacy of ones home, generating a score which would classify each individual among a domain of personality traits, including extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism (anxiety, anger, etc), and openness to experience. Each member would then be ranked within a percentile, considering the amount of trust, commitment, and satisfaction they will experience with other members in the database.

As you can see, if a dating website actually incorporated all four of these matching methods, not only would it decrease the amount of exertion one would need to find a dating partner, it would also increase the odds of finding a successful relationship. In this day and age, people are actually hiring dating website professionals to scan through members on these websites, messaging them, driving conversations, and narrowing the choices to a manageable number. It would seem far easier if these websites would accommodated more precision into their own matching process.

The only downside, would be the amount of work required to analyze this much information, which would result in membership fees in the hundreds to even thousands. But then again, how much should a perfect mate be worth?

Who Cheats More? Men or Women

Text and Image Copyright Notice. Published under copyright by Loveawake. © Copyright 2010-2021. All rights reserved.

To best answer this question, let’s turn to the most recent researchers who have been digging up the dirt on this subject for the last decade.

A study by the University of Washington, asked men and women if they had ever cheated, discovering 20 percent of men under age 35 pleaded guilty, and only 15 percent of the women. Okay girls, don’t go getting too comfortable in your position. In 2006, a Durex condom poll asked participants if they had ever cheated, reporting 40 percent of women had, and only 34 percent of men.

Score: Men 1, Women 1

Recently, researchers in Toronto, Canada, released a study claiming men feel more guilt towards infidelity. Out of 130 participants, men reported feeling remorse for “physically” cheating on a partner more than women, who instead felt the most guilt for “emotionally” cheating. In other words, a romp on the desk with her work-mate was okay, as long as there were no feelings involved. Speaking of work, many researchers think the reason women are being “found out,” is their growing prominence in the workplace.

A recent survey, found 62 percent of unfaithful men and 46 percent of unfaithful women, discovered their “other lover” through their job. The workplace is one of the biggest temptations to relationships. There is a good mixture of men and women spending a lot of time together, each making an effort to look their best. What you have here is a professional singles bar, if you will. In the past, while men had the lions share of the workforce, this is believed to also be why they had the lions share of adulterous relationships. Current research indicates that women are still behind, but are catching up.

Score: Men 2, women 1

The tempting nature of the workplace is also to blame for studies which suggest 70% of all successful men earning over $60,000/year have cheated at least once, while only 16% of less successful men (earning less than $5,000/year) have cheated. But can we blame everything on the workplace… hardly. Researchers describe a change of attitude in today’s couples who look at adultery as only a mildly criticized marital transgression. It is no longer the big scandal it once was. Heck, many women don’t even see anything wrong with cheating, until it becomes an emotionally involved affair.

Shapiro Barash, a gender studies professor at Marymount Manhattan College, has concluded through her research that some women feel a sense of entitlement when they cheat. In a study of 120 unfaithful wives, Barash found 90 percent had no guilt because they were unhappy with their current partner, and felt entitled to find happiness. These affairs, were in a sense a catalyst to get out of their current relationship, which is exactly what 55 percent of the women accomplished by the end of the study.

Score: Men 2, Women 2

Satoshi Kanazawa, has been researching the link between evolution and human sexuality, and believes that part of the answer as to who cheats more can be found by looking to our closest relatives, the primates. Man is believed to have developed from a polygamous society (one man, several female partners). In these societies, it has been suggested that the women were more promiscuous. The male sex appendage may have even evolved into its current mushroom shape to overcome this behavior, by extracting (“scooping”) old semen from the cervix, before depositing his own.

Furthermore, while men may have needed polygamous relationships to survive, that is no longer the case, and men are seeing the value in the single family, monogamous relationship. Women on the other hand, have changed very little over the centuries, considering in either society they were expected to be faithful to just one man (or supposed to be). In this, we could conclude that women may have less biological reasons to value sexual exclusivity, and thus cheat more.

Score: Men 2, Women 3

However, it is only fair to say that on the opposing end of this spectrum, there are researchers who believe it has been written into the genetic code of men to deposit their seed in as many places as possible. There are plenty of celebrity stories to prove this. Yes, Hugh Grant, Tiger Woods, and Jude Law, I am referring to you.

Score: Men 3, Women 3

Conclusion

In conclusion, quite simply we do not know who cheats more, but we do know morals continue to devolve every day. Love is a privilege and should never be taken for granted, which is why it is so important to maintain the same quality of love, romance, and passion your relationship started with!

10 Do-Good Dates

While not a good choice for a first date, volunteering with an online dating pal is fun, rewarding and best of all, free. The shared experience will create a bond and give you plenty to talk about down the road. Plan a lunch or dinner to follow so you can recap the events and laugh about the crazy group leader or guy that brought his own tool belt to a beach clean up. Check out online volunteer sites and consider our suggestions below.

  1. Beach Clean Up—Sun, sand and sea make for a great date. You’ll have plenty of time to chat as you stroll along the shoreline. Take a dip in the ocean after to cool down… and maybe heat things up.
  2. Give Blood—Show how brave you are by donating blood at a Red Cross event. Catch up over juice and cookies post-donation then head out for a real meal.
  3. Walk for a Cause—Burn calories, raise awareness and have several miles of conversation in the great outdoors. Pick a cause you both believe in—it’ll create a connection beyond just that day.
  4. Build Something—Sign up for Habitat for Humanity or Rebuilding America—while building or repairing a home for a low-income family you’ll unintentionally build your relationship. Plus, despite what you think, sweat is a turn on for both sexes… especially when it’s the result of swinging a hammer.
  5. Visit a Local Nursing Home—You’ll come off as patient, caring and, well, young! Showing respect for the elderly signals you’re a good caretaker, something everyone looks for in a long-term partner.
  6. Teach—Local libraries, elementary schools and youth centers are always looking for volunteers with specialized skills to help with everything from soccer to social networking skills (which you’ll have gained via dating online). Find something you’re both skilled at and could teach together.
  7. Serve Those Who Served—Visit a Veterans hospital and work on a variety of tasks, like reading to vets or stocking food cupboards. An underappreciated and often neglected crowd, this is a chance to show your date that you believe in something bigger than yourself.
  8. Clear a Hiking Trail—In the current economic climate, parks and recreation departments are taking a big hit and need volunteers to help clear trails. This date allows you to explore and problem-solve as a team, skills that will come in handy later in the relationship.
  9. Contribute to a Toy Drive—Head to a toy store and pick out gifts together to donate. The toys will make you reminisce and have you swapping stories of days past in no time.
  10. Donate Books to a Local Library—Visit each of your pads and go through old boxed books or ones on your shelf that are acquiring dust. You’ll learn each other’s tastes and share childhood memories along the way.

One afternoon of volunteering can reveal more about a person’s character than several dinner dates. Just be sure to talk about likes and dislikes beforehand so that a needle-phobe doesn’t end up at a blood drive and turn date to disaster.